And in Other News: Chubby in Rosamund Street

Posted on Mar 04, 2022. by NTI

And in other news ... we think we have time to rush through a few stories at the end of this bulletin.

With big investment hitters as Advent, Carlyle and KKR pulling out because they think £10 billion is too much to pay for Boots (the chemist, not the footwear), the Issa Brothers, owners of Asda (and big KFC francisees ... and one Pizza Hut) and a few petrol stations, have stepped in and are mulling a £6 billion purchase over a Caffè Nero coffee they failed to buy in a much-chatted over venture that went sour a year or so ago.

In a big thumbs-up to the resurgent High Street that is fighting back and demanding tax hikes for their online rivals who don't have to pay business rates, the brothers are also planning to open a new grocery convenience store close to Blackburn town centre; the first of their "Euro Grocer" chain that is due be launched later this year. Great choice, boys; what doesn't start in Blackburn? (other than hope, fashion, sushi take-outs and Chubby's 1991 Ford Fiesta outside his council flat in Rosamund Street).

Kroll, the Administrator of Arena TV have filed a report stating the collapsed broadcaster had secured £290 million against what appears (and we suppose we should say "is alleged") to be thousands of faked assets. Kroll were quite nice about it:  “it does not hold the vast majority of assets” purportedly borrowed against, they said. Kroll have tipped off the Serious Fraud Office and they have searched three of Arena TV's sites, with the support of the National Crime Agency (which is like taking your smaller brother along with you to retrieve your football nicked by bullies). Two individuals have been arrested.

If you didn't know, the term 'high-cost lender' has an official definition. It is those who supply funding for a loan with an annual percentage rate that is more than 6.5 percentage points higher than the average prime offer rate. People who offer these are also called, in an official definition, 'charletons and unmasked thieves'. So now you are up-to-date on that, Andrew Tate and James Hopkirk of Kreston Reeves have been appointed joint Administrators of high-cost lender Oakham as the firm enters into Administration. The slogan adorning their website (now under a banner explaining how knackered they are, as they are now in Administration) crows "Better Money, Brighter Future". Well, not - it appears - for you lads.

The Financial Conduct Authority have issued a statement to all those in Blackburn and elsewhere that all existing loans will remain in place and consumers will still have access to their accounts during the Administration, but the business is no longer able to issue new loans.

We have just got time to tell you that Whoop Energy and Xcel Power, which supplied power to more than 500 energy companies, have gone under.

And over to Shelley at the weather desk ...

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