When Billy heard there was a National Crime Agency he expressed his pleasure that, finally, criminals had somewhere, like a club, they can go to meet like-minded people. Of course, there already was somewhere they could go; prison, and many made the most of the opportunity to mark up their frequent flyer cards at those establishments.
The NCA have a cool website, setting out a range of benefits for their employees who, they explain, are 'at the forefront of the fight against crime in the United Kingdom'. Quite frankly, we could do with four or five of their team down here in Tower Hamlets this morning as the ne'er do well pursue their agenda of vagabonding and standing-around-dressed-appallingly and looking threatening with their tats and kebabs. Today the Agency are splashed over some of the more specialist media sites, calling on insolvency professionals to sharpen their pencils in the fight against Bounceback Bastards, Government Scheme Slashers and Furlough Fraudsters.
You may have received your letter from the Insolvency Service this morning calling on you to snitch on any businesses or individuals you have heard are defrauding us all whilst helping themselves to Rishis's beneficence. We are told in the letter, "it is the duty of the Insolvency Practitioner to consider their reporting obligations". Damn, had we at NTI been aware those in our glorious profession have a duty to report we would have mentioned it on the Passing the Exam courses for CPI and JIEB in November. They can't just spring it on us now and expect us to be aware of our responsibilities. Can't they issue statements of best practice, or mention it in statutes to bring us all up to speed?
It is nice to be condescended to by Government officials, as it makes a change from being glowered at by newsreaders and epidemiologists explaining that we should not openly sneeze in people's food or lick other shoppers.
Apparently Bounceback loans are being targeted by criminals and/or directors who often meet at the centre of a Venn diagram and introduce themselves. It is hard to know exactly how much of the £65.5 billion which has been loaned by various Government lending schemes over the past nine months, has reached the hands of people wearing striped vests and three days of dark stubble, but apparently it is 'a lot'. Someone called Dominic Offord who is a partner at Howard Kennedy ('a law firm') has found time to say very complicated things to journalists who then try to explain them to the rest of us. Let me try to help you to understand; Bounceback loans are based on self-certification and are particularly vulnerable to fraudsters. Insolvency Practitioners need to be on their mettle and investigate these people.
In brief. Come on you insolvency people. Investigate bad people and bad things and don't let us tell you again.