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Neil told us a story about two years ago (and then, like a lot of old people, told it to us again a few months back, thinking we had never heard it before) about him being told as a new-born lecturer:
"You have to really BE someone to make a topic like insolvency interesting." He says he took this like a gauntlet being slapped across his face and cast down onto the dirt in front of him. This morning, Rich put a little teaser from the bunch of wags at The Insolvency Service about reinstatement of ISA cheque payments on Billy's desk and similarly raked a glove across his face. "Go on, Billy," he said, "make this readable." This is what Billy came up with ...
Slovan knew exactly what Jemina was doing when she looked up at him, her hazel eyes twinkling. He'd seen her do this to others before, better men than he and he knew he was done for.
"You promised me a cheque, sir. If I would wait. Well, I have waited." She knew that, for months now, the office had been closed after, 'the incident'. Slovan knew it too, he could barely bring himself to think about it. He had come in for the first time today and realised he would have to go there again, even if every sinew in his body was railing against it.
"There is ...a process," he said, his voice hardly audible above Jemina's breathing.
"I can wait," she said.
"You won't like it," he gulped. If only there was another way. So many people had tried and failed. What chance did he stand? It was if he could feel the heat from her body, just a metre or less away.
She looked at him, grazed his arm with a gossamer touch. "Try me."
1 The Practitioner, or agreed requisition submitter, will send a signed CAU 101 requisition by email to Requisitions@insolvency.gov.uk
2 The subject header of the email should read ‘IP Requisitions’ to ensure it is identified as a payment request and processed without delay
3 Each requisition must be sent on a separate email
4 The signature on the requisition will be checked against the signature that is held on our database and we will be validating that the requisition has been received from the IP’s email address that we have on our records
Jemina just stood before him, motionless. "What about ...?" Don't say it, Slovan screamed within, nothing coming out. "Covid?" she whispered.
"Well, in order to ensure the offices are COVID secure workplaces there will be a reduced staff capacity. This means cheque printing will initially be carried out on a weekly basis on Tuesdays. So that your requisition can be processed and a cheque produced within the week, please ensure it is emailed to us by no later than midday on Mondays. Any requisitions received after this time will be processed the following week." He said it, as if by heart, knowing that she wanted to hear him repeat what had never been said aloud.
It was if time stood still. A clock ticked somewhere in the building, time marching on whilst it remained static between them.
"And the others?" she asked.
He swallowed hard. "Should you wish to nominate others from within your firm to submit requisitions on your behalf, we need an email from you from the email address we have on our records to authorise them as requisition submitters."
And there it was. Said. As if there was nothing more to say. But there was one more thing. Jemina waited before she asked him.
"Will the agency accept requisitions sent from an email account that has been authorised by a licensed Insolvency Practitioner?"
How could she? How could she ask that?
"Yes," he said.
"And BACs?" It was almost done. He had nothing left. He only just managed to say.
"The Service will continue to process BACS payments on a daily basis and we would encourage you to use BACS as the payment method where possible."
And so it was.
And so it ever was.